she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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