I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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