I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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