Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
