Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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