hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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