Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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