so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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