Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize