Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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