WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
