We got so high we made milksteak
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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