Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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