she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore