Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
