i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
