the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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