We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
