i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
