we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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