I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
