I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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