I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
