She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
