remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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