What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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