so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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