in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
