I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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