Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize