you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
