Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
4 words: hood of his car
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'