like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...