Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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