wakey wakey hands off snakey
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
