Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize