I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
