why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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