She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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