First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize