Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
