butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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