Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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