I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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