So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
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The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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