I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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