you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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