i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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