she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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