The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
