Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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