after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
