She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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