I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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