Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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