You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
