i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
