there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
