I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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