Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
