ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize