so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
